Bob called all the Boneheads together for a family meeting. “Good news!” he declared. “We are getting a pool!”

All eight children cheered. It was all about the children, after all. Bonnie, Bob’s wife, had been after him to find a way to keep the children home, especially the teens. It would keep them out of trouble and out of gangs.

This was especially brought home after Bob had to go shopping for a shotgun. Their oldest daughter, Bella, a senior in high school, became pregnant. She had apparently failed the only lesson in her abstinence-only sex education class and the Boneheads would be grandparents soon. Bubba, the star football player at the high school, had also failed that single lesson and would be joining the Bonehead family soon, if Bob and his newly acquired shotgun had anything to say about the matter. Bob and Bonnie firmly believed that marriage should be defined as the traditional union of an unwilling boy and unwilling girl.

Bonnie asked, “How are we going to afford a pool? Bella and Bubba are probably going to be living here. I’m getting laid-off from Doodah Gadgets when they move the plant to China next month. Your business is slowing down. No one is asking you to install monster home entertainment centers in their foreclosed McMansions right now. So how are we going to afford to add a pool to the house?”

Bob explained, “Look, I had the same guys that were here last summer come back and give us another estimate. Turns out, now, they can build a pool for half the cost of the original estimate! We can’t afford to not add the pool right now. Are you against kids?”

She kicked him in the shins. “Am I against kids?!! What the heck kind of question is that? Who hauls them around town to everything? Who attends their recitals? Who cooks for and feeds the little beggars? Who gave birth to them all?” She kicked him again. “And you ask me if I am against kids? You, you Bonehead. I am going to ask you again. How are you going to afford it?”

Bob looked around. “Kids, who wants a pool? Who is with me on this?”

All of the kids jumped up, wildly waving their hands. They were all in. The family had talked about a pool for a long time. Now, Dad was getting serious about it and here was Mom arguing against it. Enthusiasm was needed to rule the day. “Oh, heck yeah. We’re for the pool!” they shouted.

“OK, big guy, how are we paying for it with our income dropping?” Bonnie asked again.

“Look, I will borrow Fred’s lawn mower next door. I am cutting Jesus out of the lawn care. And, and I will start taking coffee to work from here. Can you make a skinny double-latte before I head out in the morning?” Bob asked Bonnie.

“No, but I can pour a cup of coffee from the coffee pot, big spender.”

“Well, I guess. And we’re going to layoff Rex.”

“The dog?!!! You’re going to let the dog go? Like he was some employee at Doodah?” asked an incredulous Bonnie.

“Hey, we’re going to have tough times ahead. We have to plan to make cuts to the bone.” Bob could not understand how Bonnie could be so upset.

“If the times are so tough, why, pray tell, are we getting the pool?” Bonnie asked.

“Hey, it’s half the price! The kids need it! We’ve promised them for years we would have one!” Bob shouted, as Bonnie shrunk from him. “Oh, there is one hitch. We won’t be able to buy the water to fill it for another couple of years.”