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Spider monkeys

Submitted by CalNative on Fri, 2008-05-02 23:16.

Hundreds of spider monkeys of the green banana leaf tribe gathered to celebrate their green banana leafness. What good fortune to be part of the green banana leaf community, all others being losers, particularly the yellow orchid spider monkeys. One did not wish to be of the yellow orchid tribe, losers that they were.

It was widely known that yellow orchid monkeys were given to eat bananas. Of course, green banana leaf spider monkeys also ate bananas, but chose better bananas than yellow orchid spider monkeys. Green leaf spider monkeys used sticks to gather tasty termites to munch as a snack. Yellow orchid spider monkeys also used sticks to eat termites, but were not as clever as green banana leaf spider monkeys, so got less tasty termites.

During the celebration of green banana leafness, a couple of yellow orchid monkeys slipped in. At first, they were not known to be such, the other monkeys assuming them to be celebrating green banana leafness like everyone else. But a comment derogatory to yellow orchid monkeys was made and one of the two replied in kind.

“Yellow orchid monkeys are among us!” went up the cry. A panic swept through the crowd. The yellow orchid spider monkey who had replied to the comment grabbed a coconut and hammered the nearest green leaf spider monkey to him repeatedly as fast as he could. The beaten monkey fell, mortally wounded. The yellow orchid monkeys sped from the scene, while the remaining monkeys screamed and ran around in a panic.

Soon, the orangutans in charge of jungle security arrived. “Split them up and get their story,” said the lead orang.

Quickly the group was divided into three. One group sat with their hands over their eyes, one with hands over their ears and the last with hands over their mouths. “What did you see?” asked an orang of the first group.

“You cannot see we cannot see?” replied the group together, shaking in fear. “No one saw a thing. Find the villain that we may repay him in kind. You are orangutans and good at these things. You do not need our help.”

“What did you hear?” the orangs asked of the second group.

“What? Did you say something? We cannot hear, can you not see?” the second group shouted when they saw the orangs say something to them. “No one heard a thing. Find the villain that we may repay him in kind. You are orangutans and good at these things. You do not need our help.”

The orangutans turned to the third group. “Forget it,” said the lead orang looking at the monkeys covering their mouths. “These spider monkeys are idiots. When something bad happens, they call us. We show up. No one saw anything, no one heard anything, no one says anything. Let’s get out of here. This is useless. We’ll have to figure out another way to find the culprit.”

As the orangutans left, the murmur went up among the green banana leaf spider monkeys. “See? The orangutans do not respect us. They do not help or protect us. We will have to take vengeance ourselves. This happens every time. And orangutans wonder why we do not like them…”

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These monkeys really love to

These monkeys really love to eat termites. I've seen them on Discovery channel.
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On Spider Monkeys

Thank you both for your insightful responses. Many readers might have mistakenly read this as a satirical essay on gang behavior, yet you two saw it for what it was, a deep study on the habits of spider monkeys. Insight as yours is what keeps Gooberville one of the intellectual capitols of the world.

These creatures should be in

These creatures should be in their proper environment. They're not appropriate to have them at home.
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These monkeys really love to

These monkeys really love to eat termites. I've seen them on Discovery channel.
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Spiders, Monkeys, etc :)

Yeah monkeys are really into eating termites and other insects!

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Feeding habits of monkeys

At least we have established that Enterprise readers are more familiar with Steve Irwin than Jonathan Swift.

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